Wednesday, May 31
...
Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
...

-- helen reddy
3:31 PM

Tuesday, May 30
this time is about me and my body. and it is temporary. and i will be ready to enjoy the fall.
3:30 PM

Saturday, May 27
happy birthday jeff! we'll have a proper celebration by the end of the year.
3:19 PM

Friday, May 26
4 different medical sources have told me, one doesn't need the fibula bone to be intact or line up properly. it's often harvested for reconstructive surgery. what matters is having part of it join the ankle and knee. i still feel 5% suspicious about this, but am coming around to believing it. i've also slowly woken to the fact my left leg looks and feels Medieval. when mom has told me that i can hide the 3" scar with pantyhose, i've told her scars don't bother me. and for the most part, this is true. but it will take a while to grow to love and accept myself in this new state. then again, i was working on this before the accident. maybe now it will be easier since i've been mangled and need to look after myself. i'm seeing a super orthopedic specialist in 2 weeks. i wish jesus was still around. i could use a miracle worker.

6:04 PM

Thursday, May 25
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12:48 PM

Monday, May 22
it's hard to be disabled. i realize how terrible it is for handicapped folks to get around this world. it's not set up for them. just going to the restroom is a chore. i can't even imagine taking public transporation. so i remind myself, my condition is temporary. and it's a chance to tune into my body and appreciate it and work to get out of this phase, stronger than before. there is so much i have taken for granted, and continue to take for granted. to be mostly immobile and depend on others for the most basic things is incredibly frustrating. but as j. says, the body is set up to heal itself. i'm ready!
4:24 PM

Wednesday, May 17
time is molasses, i have taken up a feline existence on the couch. heal left leg, heal quickly and effectively!
12:47 PM

Friday, May 12
last friday i broke my leg. on the bike, hit a pothole/sunken manhole cover. the result was an OPEN fractured tibula/fibula. quite a feat for a first time break. i didn't cry. i must have been in shock. surgery was saturday early morning. j was with me the whole time, making all the difference. now i'm counting down the days. in 5-6 weeks, should be weight bearing again and into physical therapy. pain medication is pretty awful stuff. definitely not how i imagined this spring to be, but must count the blessings and focus on getting stronger than before. (vieques, of course, will be re-scheduled. at least it's something lovely to look forward to, besides moving all 10 toes freely.)

tomorrow, one year! it feels longer in a good way. so much has happened.
3:16 PM

Monday, May 1
vieques, here we come!
6:26 PM